Former Church-Goers Are Sharing The Thing That Made Them Stop Attending, And Some Of These Are Pretty Sinful
1.
Warning: This post discusses domestic violence and sexual abuse.
It’s been said that you should never discuss politics or religion in polite company. But that doesn’t apply to the internet, where everyone is impolite. Recently, Reddit user lowly_shepherd asked, “People who have stopped going to church, what made you stop?”
People had A LOT to say. The question received over 16,000 replies! Here are some of the best comments:
2.“They said my mom’s cancer was God testing my family.”
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“Religion has no way to square how an all-loving God can allow such an indiscriminate killer to run rampant amongst its creation, so they come up with all sorts of unhinged explanations.”
3.“When I was 14, I stopped attending when my pastor told me that dinosaurs never existed.”
“My pastor said, ‘Maybe there were dinosaurs on Noah’s ark.’ That was the moment I realized it’s all made up.”
4.“I started to realize that I felt guilty for things that weren’t truly wrong and didn’t negatively impact others. I don’t need my church’s interpretation of good and evil; I just do my best to be a good person on my own terms.”
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5.“The focus on appearances. It seemed like no one actually cared what went on behind closed doors, as long as they weren’t forced to acknowledge it.”
6.“The many Evangelical churches I attended were purely social clubs. Everyone came to show off their clothes, babies, and ‘holiness,’ then go back to being horrible when they walked out the door.”
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7.“Our holier than thou pastor was screwing his secretary for years while married.”
8.“Around 2003, we got these two sermons back-to-back weeks: First, we were told that being homosexual is an abomination against God, and it’s a disgrace to the Lord that these heathens legalized same-sex marriage (in Massachusetts). The following week, they said that although priests were caught molesting children, we should forgive them, as Jesus forgave. That was the Catholic Church in a nutshell, and my entire family could not be part of this anymore. The hypocrisy was palpable.”
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9.“They seemed to want money more than anything else.”
10.“I have a theory that attending religious elementary school made my anxiety WAY worse than it would’ve been if I went to public school. All the ‘God is watching and will know if you sin’ messed up my already-not-great brain as a kid.”
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11.“I read the Bible and came to very different conclusions than what I was taught in church.”
12.“I was raised in the Church of Christ, where women aren’t supposed to speak in front of men. Instead, they’re supposed to filter their voice through their husband or father. My raised-in-the-church husband beat me, cheated on me, lied, stole, and beat our kids.”
13.“I stopped being forced to go.”
“My dad said as long as I lived in his house, I had to go to mass. So I moved out.”
14.“I went to a Baptist university that was building a new football stadium. One day, I was talking with a professor (who was also a preacher) about the new stadium. I’ll never forget the look of disgust on his face when I said the money should go to helping the largely impoverished community around the university. He thought it should go to building more churches. I realized that I have fundamentally different morals and ethics than churchgoers.”
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15.“It just wasn’t fulfilling anymore, and I came to the conclusion that most people use religion as a cover for their flaws.”
16.“I never really could connect with anyone in the church. They didn’t seem capable of having conversations that didn’t revolve around the church or the Bible, and I just couldn’t talk about that 24/7.”
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17.“I stopped going to church when the pastor told me I was not allowed to leave my domestic abuser husband unless he cheated on me. I left him anyway.”
18.“As a kid, I was told not to believe everything on TV and to question things. At the same time, I was fed stories of a man who walked on water and fed hundreds of people with one fish and one bottle of wine. I was chastised when I questioned Bible stories, but the seed was planted.”
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19.“Early on in my time in Iraq, I was a gunner on a Humvee. Some kid threw a rock at the truck. I was pulling on the trigger before my brain realized a rock isn’t dangerous. I didn’t kill anyone, but it really messed with me. I was a devout Catholic at the time and went to confession to get help. The priest was more fixated on whether I rubbed one out than how close I got to killing someone. It spiraled for a few years before concluding that all churches were corrupt and morally bankrupt.”
“The church has a disproportionate focus on sexual sins.”
20.“One of my four sons is gay. I love him without reservation. The church says he’s a sinner because of who he is. I’m out.”
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21.“When you really get down to it, it’s just people telling you they know what happens when we die. I’m not basing my life’s ideology around something that’s impossible to know.”
22.“The last time I went to my church was my mom’s celebration of life service. It’s been eight years, and I don’t think I can set foot in the building without crying.”
Jonas Olbrich / 500px / Getty Images/500px
23.And finally, on a lighter note: “Church is boring as hell.”
H/T r/AskReddit
Some replies have been edited for length and clarity.
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger as a result of domestic violence, call 911. For anonymous, confidential help, you can call the 24/7 National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or chat with an advocate via the website.
If you or someone you know has experienced sexual assault, you can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE, which routes the caller to their nearest sexual assault service provider. You can also search for your local center here.
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