Pregnant woman cannot handle family member’s garlic obsession when cooking
In a family drama that is gaining traction on Reddit, a woman shared with others that she’s telling her mother-in-law — a big fan of garlic — to cook meals strictly outside the house from now on, not inside.
The cooking, however, may be just part of the problem here, a psychotherapist indicated.
“I’ve had chronic migraines for over 20 years and one of my triggers is garlic,” the woman wrote on Reddit. “I get extremely sick once the migraine hits, and I am currently pregnant and unable to take any medicines that will stop or help my migraines.”
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The woman said that she and her husband “moved my mother-in-law and brother-in-law in with us so we can try and take care of his mom and help her retire and help my [brother-in-law] get on his feet.”
While the brother-in-law “has been great,” the woman added that she “didn’t realize that my MIL was going to take over the house.”
A frustrated woman on Reddit (not pictured) wrote that once her mother-in-law moved into her home, “she wanted to cook every meal” — and now comes into the couple’s room “unannounced to grab our dirty laundry, make our bed, etc.” (iStock)
The woman said that “when we lived on our own, we’d worked out a pretty good routine. [But] once she moved in, she wanted to cook every meal and would come [into] our room unannounced to grab our dirty laundry, make our bed, etc.”
She added, “If I cooked dinner anyway, she would guilt my husband into eating both meals.”
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The husband “finally got frustrated,” the woman wrote.
He told her that “we know she means well, but we need some boundaries. He asked her to stop cooking so much and attempted to set other basic boundaries, [such as] not going into our room unannounced. He told her if she wants to cook for herself and [the BIL], that’s fine, but we want to be able to cook meals and have our routine back.”
“When she cooks, it seems like she goes out of her way to use as much fresh garlic as humanly possible.”
This messaging did not go over well, the woman reported.
“The next day she lost it and told my BIL what my husband said and said that I was taking her son away from her, controlling him, and that she is the ‘matriarch’ of this family … This led to a whole family sitdown.”
“This morning, I finally felt OK enough to come into the living room, and she starts cooking with a ton of garlic,” wrote a woman on social media about a simmering family problem. (Jakub Porzycki/NurPhoto via Getty Images)
Now, wrote the woman on Reddit, “when she cooks, it seems like she goes out of her way to use as much fresh garlic as humanly possible. To reiterate, she is well aware that this will make me sick but claims every time that she ‘forgot.'”
These actions are occurring “on a weekly basis if not more frequently,” the pregnant woman wrote.
“Why would she do that? It almost feels purposeful at this point.”
“I have had a migraine for the last two weeks straight and have been bedridden. This morning, I finally felt OK enough to come into the living room, and she starts cooking with a ton of garlic.”
Said the woman, “I finally snapped and told her that if she knows I’ve been this sick and that because I’m pregnant I can’t take meds, why would she do that? It almost feels purposeful at this point.”
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The woman shared on Reddit that she went back into her bedroom, turned on the fan and opened all the windows “to air it out. But honestly, I’m already screwed at this point and want to tell her that if she is going to continue to cook with that much garlic and not care how sick I get, that she can cook outside with the camping stove.”
She asked others if she was wrong for feeling the way she does.
“You can tell her to cook outside on a camping stove. Or you can have a talk with your husband about how she has outstayed her welcome.” (iStock)
People on Reddit pronounced the pregnant woman “not the a–hole” for feeling the way she does.
Said one writer, “You can tell her to cook outside on a camping stove. Or you can have a talk with your husband about how she has outstayed her welcome. You guys didn’t HAVE to let her move in, and [it] sounds like she needs to understand it’s not her house.”
“Your husband needs to immediately remove all garlic from the house.”
Another commenter remarked, “It’s time to give her a deadline to move out … She’s only going to be worse once there’s a baby in the picture.”
A number of others seconded that last sentiment, agreeing the situation could become much tougher once the couple’s baby is born.
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Wrote another person, “She’s doing this on purpose. If she can’t respect a basic health boundary, she can absolutely take her garlic obsession outside. Your husband needs to step up even more and make it clear that this is non-negotiable. Stay strong.”
Another person said, “Remove all garlic from the house. What you have is an allergy.”
One person on Reddit wrote about the mother-in-law, “She sounds extremely capable of taking care of herself, too, so I don’t see why she needs to live with you guys right now.” (Silas Stein/picture alliance via Getty Images)
Yet another Reddit user was adamant the mother-in-law needs to cook outside, away from the windows, “even if she doesn’t use garlic. Pregnancy nose is sensitive and you don’t need any triggers. Don’t they realize damage to you is damage to the baby also?”
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Jonathan Alpert, a New York-based psychotherapist and licensed counselor, told Fox News Digital that family dynamics can be tricky, “especially when there’s a clash of expectations and when people are living under the same roof who ordinarily wouldn’t be.”
He added, “Underlying this could simply be deeper issues of respect, control or discomfort.”
“In today’s culture, we’re often quick to prioritize our own feelings and desires – sometimes at the expense of understanding others.”
“In today’s culture, we’re often quick to prioritize our own feelings and desires – sometimes at the expense of understanding others. This can reflect a broader societal trend where self-absorption takes center stage, making it harder to navigate simple family interactions without turning them into a power struggle.”
Alpert also said, “The key to resolving situations like this is clear, compassionate communication.”
“When someone knowingly does something that harms your health over and over again, it’s not a simple oversight anymore,” said a clinical psychologist about the pregnant woman’s situation. (iStock)
Kathy Wilkerson, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in California, told Fox News Digital, “When someone knowingly does something that harms your health over and over again, it’s not a simple oversight anymore. Whether passive-aggressive or intentional, it’s hurtful and unacceptable.”
She said that in this case, “It’s time to push back. It’s OK to say, ‘We’re grateful for all you do, but garlic can’t be used in the house anymore. We need this to be a safe place for me and the baby.’”
While garlic offers numerous health benefits and adds flavor to meals, people who consume garlic on a daily basis should do so in moderation and decrease the intake if “negative side effects” are noticed, Fox News Digital previously reported.
An overconsumption of garlic can produce side effects, including garlic breath, digestive issues, bloating, stomach pains, gas and heartburn. (Ryan McFadden/MediaNews Group/Reading Eagle via Getty Images)
In general, overconsumption of garlic can produce side effects, including garlic breath, digestive issues, bloating, stomach pains, gas and heartburn.
As for a garlic allergy, that “can cause symptoms like skin rash, hives and difficulty breathing,” according to Cleveland Clinic.
“This allergic reaction happens when your body mistakenly believes garlic is a harmful substance. Avoiding garlic and having an epinephrine injector (EpiPen) for emergencies are possible treatments.”
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A garlic allergy is said to be “uncommon.” It’s more likely people “have a garlic intolerance [rather] than an allergy. A healthcare provider can help determine if your symptoms are happening due to an allergy or an intolerance,” Cleveland Clinic said.
Gabriele Regalbuto of Fox News Digital contributed reporting.
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