Suffolk veterans divided over push to raise suicide awareness, military flags together

Air Force veteran Nathan Gardner, of Patchogue, perched his towering frame over the podium as he prepared to deliver a three-minute speech he had rehearsed four or five times that morning.

With his service dog, Kenzo, a yellow Labrador, at his side Tuesday, he shared with Suffolk County lawmakers his post-military struggles: chronic back pain, the struggle to reacclimate to civilian life and thoughts of suicide after his service ended in 2012. Flying the Suicide Awareness and Remembrance flag — calling attention to an ongoing trend among veterans — could save other veterans like himself, he said.

Gardner’s emotional plea came in support of a bill sponsored by Legis. Chad Lennon (R-Rocky Point) that would formally recognize the SAR flag in Suffolk and require it to be flown at county buildings wherever the POW-MIA flag flies in remembrance of service members who were either prisoners of war or missing in action.

While veterans and lawmakers agreed on the importance of addressing veteran suicide, they remained split on whether the SAR flag should be flown under the American and POW-MIA flags as proposed in a pending bill, a controversy that some said was pitting veteran against veteran.

Lennon said Suffolk is home to more veterans than any other county in New York, with more than 49,000, according to the U.S. Census Bureau’s 2023 1-year American Community Survey.

The SAR flag, created by Kevin Hertell, an Air Force veteran and veterans advocate from Melville, aims to break the stigma of veteran suicide, raise awareness and serve as a symbol of hope and honor for surviving family members, he told lawmakers.

Some veterans, however, said flying the flag on the same pole would be inappropriate, create a slippery slope of adding additional flags and could dilute the messages both represent.

The divide, based on testimony at last week’s Suffolk County Legislature meeting in Riverhead, appears largely generational: The post-9/11 veterans advocated for it while an older generation of veterans urged restraint.

Bill Hughes, commander of VFW Post 5350 in Westhampton Beach and district commander for Suffolk’s 27 posts, said more should be done to support programs and research to combat the “epidemic” of veteran suicide, but he opposed flying the flag under the American and POW/MIA flags.

“Our American flag embodies all our histories and stories, and the addition of the third flag on the same mast will create distraction from our colors,” he said.

Steady problem

There were 6,407 veteran suicides in 2022, a number that has held mostly steady since 2001 even as the veteran population decreased by 28.4% over that time period, according to a report last year by the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs.

The report highlighted several risk factors for veterans who died by suicide, led by pain and sleep problems. Other risk factors were increased health problems, declines in physical ability, relationship problems and hopelessness.

Hertell, an Air Force veteran, told lawmakers he created the flag after his cousin, Senior Airman Robert McRae Dean, died in 2016 by suicide. He soon learned more about how prevalent the problem was and how those service members “have been ignored and forgotten by our country.”

He said flying the flag away from the POW/MIA flag rather than underneath it sends a message that “their lives are not as important as POWs.”

Several veterans and lawmakers said the POW/MIA flag took time to gain recognition across the country and they hope it doesn’t take as long for the SAR flag.

The POW/MIA flag dates to 1971 during the Vietnam War, designed as a way to remind Americans of the service members who had not been accounted for. By the end of the war, more than 2,500 service members were listed as either a prisoner of war or missing in action, according to the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs. In 1990, Congress passed a law that designates the flag as a symbol for the nation’s concern for all the service members who remained missing.

At the federal level, Rep. Andrew Garbarino (R-Bayport) has sponsored legislation to nationally recognize the SAR flag and similar efforts have been attempted at the state level.

‘Bold’ initiative

The legislature, at the request of Presiding Officer Kevin McCaffrey (R-Lindenhurst), tabled the resolution last week to allow more public comment. McCaffrey vowed to support the bill whether it’s tweaked or remains in its current form.

“We have the opportunity to do something that’s bold,” said Lennon, a Marine Corps veteran from Afghanistan, urging his fellow lawmakers to “lead that charge” of providing help to veterans.

Legis. Nick Caracappa (C-Selden), who chairs the legislature’s Veterans Committee, said the conflict was not about the flag itself, but its proposed location. He said passing the resolution would open a “Pandora’s box.”

He urged his colleagues to “rethink this bill as it currently stands.”

As Gardner, 35, spoke to legislators, he described every day as “a battle against pain that never seems to let up.”

Seeing a fellow service member struggling, Hertell stood from his seat in the audience and walked to stand next to Gardner, wrapping an arm around him in support.

Gardner said in an interview that he’s used to public speaking and sharing his story, so he didn’t expect to break down.

But the “heavy weight” he feels can make it difficult to hold his bearing, he said. He’s been the “tough guy” for so long that he no longer feels the need to prove anything to anyone.

“Maybe if they do see more veterans crying about the fact that they’re suffering and their friends are dying, that, wow, this really is that big of an issue,” he said.